He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I am one with the molecules
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
