Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
