no you cant smoke seaweed
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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