On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
this will be a night to untag.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
