I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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