OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
