similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
