okay pat passed out under dana's car
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
