if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
