you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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