piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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