I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also, beer. Big fan.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
