12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
