Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
