Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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