Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
