she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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