It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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