haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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