Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
