This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
