youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
