What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
