don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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