i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
