i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize