You made me cry and you don't even care
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I puked a lego.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
