You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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