dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize