i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize