Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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