god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
