you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
