not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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