Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
