She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
