u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
