We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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