I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
