He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
