I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
