I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
