he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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