The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
