I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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