Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
