yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize