dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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