we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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