I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
