please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
