She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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