shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hippo gnu deer
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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