You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
