hotel room ftw
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She bit a glass in half.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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