So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
